In whatever circumstances you’re in and however you came to be a single mum, after a certain period of time you’ll likely start looking for romance once again! Sooner or later you might think about re-entering the dating scene and you are looking for right website to get that. But you might feel that you are a little “rusty” for dating and of course, you are not exactly a single entity, either! You may believe that you need coaching for women to help you plan how to attract “Mr Right” in your situation!
To start with, give yourself a good talking to!
You need to tell yourself that it is fine and normal to seek the attention of another man. Society is filled to the brim with preconceived notions, and it’s more than likely that you might encounter resistance from a few of your “friends,” acquaintances or fellow workers telling you, subtly or strait to your face not to do so. Tip number one – make sure that you take the time to give yourself permission!
If you’re getting ready to enter the dating game once again, prepare yourself for the reactions of your children. It’s crucial that you anticipate their questions – and along with them, possibly a fair amount of hostility. After all, someone else might want some of your time too, from now on. Make a point of having an honest and open dialogue with your children and don’t even think about telling partial-truths or even blatant lies. Take as much time as you need to explain that you need to be with your new friends, just as they do with theirs. A little time spent in preparation this way will pay dividends later on. Tip number two – be open and honest with your children!
Don’t obsess about finding a man.
Understand that you’re currently getting along well in your role as a single mum and you don’t want to jeopardise that under any circumstances. After all, you are far more likely to attract the right man if you don’t come over as needy and desperate. Therefore, you should not put too much emphasis on your man-seeking activities to the point of obsession. It’s OK to look and make an effort to “see and be seen” in appropriate social circumstances, but keep it in check and remember to enjoy the process rather than making it into a mission. Tip number three – everything in moderation!
You are quite rightly proud of your kids, as they are of you.
It takes a gentle introduction however when it comes to your new man interests. Never be apologetic about your family. On the contrary, especially as you should have a good idea how he is likely to react to the idea of children. You would scarcely want to go further than the first encounter if you thought it would be negative. While a gentle introduction is called for, don’t think that you have to roll the kids out every time that you meet. There’s a time and place for integration, gently does it best. Tip number four – integrate gently!
It’s perfectly normal and understandable to think about how the potential “he” might make a good father figure and to wonder whether your new man may be the answer. Don’t be tempted to put too much pressure on the situation by leaning on him. Making him an automatic father figure won’t work and you shouldn’t impose on him to do pseudo-parenting duties right away. It’s not okay to ask him to pick up the kids from school every day. Tip number five – don’t allocate roles!
It can be difficult sometimes, but always keep your head on straight when you’re in the early days of dating. If you fall head over heels, you will probably want to spend time with him, but you must be able to balance this with your other commitments. The children are a priority until such time as your relationship becomes more grounded and looks like it’s set for the long-term. Tip number six – keep your head on straight!
Being a single mum is difficult, especially if you’re trying to balance a demanding career as well. Remember that online life coaching is designed to be a helping hand in time of need for those who seem to have little time to devote to anything and are seeking answers to difficult questions.
Amanda Alexander is the Managing Director of Coaching Mums. She is a celebrated ICF accredited coach, who for over six years, has been helping thousands of working mums from around the World bring balance back into their lives, lose their guilt, find the time to explore their passions, and generally, to have a lot more fun! For fantastic articles and hot professional coaching tips, sign up to receive “Inspire,” our famous free newsletter today!